Kelantan’s Corridor of Power

13 05 2008

Y.A.B Tuan Guru Dato’ Hj. Nik Abdul Aziz Bin Hj. Nik Mat
Menteri Besar
Land, Forestry and Natural Resources
PAS - CHEMPAKA

YB. Dato’ Hj. Ahmad Bin Hj. Yaacob
Deputy Menteri Besar
Public Administration, Land and Territory Development
PAS – PASIR PEKAN

YB. Dato’ Hj. Husam Bin Hj. Musa
State Executive Councillor
Economic Planning, Finance and Welfare
PAS - SALOR

YB. Dato’ Hj. Anuar Tan Bin Abdullah
State Executive Councillor
Entrepreneur Development, Trade and Community Unity
PAS – KOTA LAMA

YB. Hj. Mohd Amar Bin Abdullah
State Executive Councillor
Islamic Development, Education and Missionary
PAS - PANCHOR

YB. Dato’ Hj. Takiyuddin Bin Hj. Hassan
State Executive Councillor
Local Government, Tourism and Culture
PAS BUNUT PAYONG

YB. Major (R) Hj. Md. Anizam Bin Abd. Rahman
State Executive Councillor
Housing, Works, Utilities and Environment
PAS - KEMAHANG

YB. Abdul Fatah Bin Hj. Mahmood
State Executive Councillor
Human Development, Youth, Sports and NGO
PAS – BUKIT PANAU

YB. Dr. Mohd Fadhli Bin Dato’ Hj. Hassan
State Executive Councillor
Information, Science and Technology Development
PAS - TEMANGAN

YB. Hj. Che Abdullah Bin Mat Nawi
State Executive Councillor
Agriculture, Cottage Industry and Biotechnology
PAS – WAKAF BHARU

YB. Puan Hjh. Wan Ubaidah Bt. Omar
State Executive Councillor
Women development, Family and Health
PAS - KIJANG

and The Opposition Leader from Kok Lanas is already sleepy like his boss.




Devils sent Chelsea to search for medals in Malaysia

12 05 2008

Glory Glory Man United!

“Yes, we are the Champions. There was no doubt about it. In fact we didn’t win it on goal difference but win it fair and square.” - Kata Tak Nak




PAS faces new challenges in post-election Kelantan state

11 05 2008

By Augustine Anthuvan, Channel NewsAsia | Posted: 07 May 2008 0059 hrs

KOTA BAHRU, Kelantan: Malaysia’s Islamist party PAS says it is time for true federalism to prevail as lawmakers from the five opposition-held states take on the ruling Barisan Nasional in parliament. 

But despite having secured a strong mandate in the March elections, the PAS stronghold in Kelantan state could be facing new challenges from the United Malays National Organisation (UMNO), which is re-engineering itself. 



Channel NewsAsia looks at what PAS would have to face up to in this second of a 10-part series on post-election Malaysia.



Sunrise at Tok Bali - a fishing village located about an hour’s drive from the state capital of Kota Bahru. 

Even with development encroaching onto Kelantan’s natural heritage, the rustic charm still prevails. 

But the landscape in this PAS stronghold is changing fast as the state government sets firm targets for growth in areas ranging from agriculture to tourism. 



Hu Pang Chaw, Chairman of National PAS Chinese Supporters’ Club, said: “Talking about development, the state government would prefer to develop this state according to the people’s needs and not to the leaders. We only provide them with the assistance whereby we set up the system for them. Kelantan is moving so fast that even the Chinese investors are coming in to invest in agriculture, mining and tourism.” 



But despite the optimism, the reactions on the ground have been mixed to say the least. 

A newspaper vendor said: “I hope the PAS government will continue its good work. Nothing needs to change.” 

A food seller said: “If UMNO takes over, I hope there will be development because under PAS, we’ll stay this way.”



Another pressing concern for Kelantan residents is the role of religion, alongside culture and family values, against the backdrop of a PAS agenda for an Islamic state. 

Dr Mohd Fadzli Hassan, PAS State Assemblyman and Executive Councillor, said: “We have never discarded our main agenda of establishing an Islamic state. But we focus on what is important now, what people can now accept. 

”In our last general election, we put up something acceptable to the people which is an important element of Islamic state - Negara Berkebajikan or welfare state. But it is not a 100 percent welfare state. Negara Berkebajikan is for the interest of the people.



”We want to do things for the interest of the people - having a trustworthy government, good governance, and these are actually the elements of an Islamic state. We want people to understand us first and then know later that this Islamic state was promoted by the PAS government. It is not something alien to the people but something that people may find it acceptable.” 

Hu added “Nowadays when you go around and ask the Muslim people what is the concept of an Islamic state? I don’t think everybody can give you a very clear picture on that. To me it is just a political slogan. We try to get the Muslims to support the Islamic state concept. But to a non-Muslim, what we are doing in Kelantan state is to set up a good model to convince them to tell others about it. So there is fairness and equality in this state. Nobody complain about it.



”Last year we launch a new logo to inform the people that PAS struggle is not just for the Malays but for everyone. With that logo we managed to set up the PAS Supporters’ Club in every corner of the country. And now we have the Siamese PAS Supporters’ Club, Indian, Chinese and even the Iban in Sarawak. This shows that PAS belongs to all the people, all the Malaysians in this country.” 



Non-Malays in Kelantan are allowed to practice their respective religions in peace. A case in point - Wat Phothivihan in the district of Tumpat near the Thai border - is believed to house the largest reclining Buddha statue in Southeast Asia. 



But amid the ongoing PAS experiment - political commentators and bloggers alike say the party is facing new challenges. 

PAS is no longer alone as Malaysians and Kelantanese in particular will be watching developments in the other opposition-held states closely. 

Syed Azidi bin Syed Abdul Aziz, Blogger, said: “Now the challenge is stronger on PAS Kelantan. Previously they are the only one that represents the opposition. Now we have four other states. And we have four other states of a combination or variety of leadership, that sort of things. 

”You have seen Penang and Perak, both states have taken the lead and have been good models. The things that they implement, the things the leaders are saying, they have made a good model. Penang and Perak will be a challenge for PAS Kelantan.

PAS Kelantan meanwhile has this problem of being a party in power for 18 years now. They have become too complacent, they have been playing with power for so long, so they are becoming more UMNO now.



”That is the problem. So that is the challenge they are facing. And I know they are monitoring the situation in UMNO because any wrong step they take will lead them to lose Kelantan in the next five years. 



Another challenge is Tengku Razaleigh’s close relationship with the Kelantan palace coupled with his quest to try for the UMNO presidency. This is being closely watched by the PAS leadership - as by tradition in Malaysian politics - the UMNO president is also the Prime Minister of the country. 



Tengku Razaleigh is the uncle of the current Raja Perempuan royal consort of the ruling Kelantan Sultan. 

Tengku Razaleigh, Gua Musang MP and UMNO Division Chief of Kelantan UMNO, said: “It’s a big party and its got a long history, but definitely it needs re-engineering. I think we need to take into consideration the changing times. The young must be looked into and I think they must have felt ignored and I think its high time that we embrace them and give them a place and the future is theirs and I think the party (UMNO) is the vehicle for us to do just that.” 

The duet between UMNO and PAS in winning the hearts and minds of the majority Malay population is central to understanding how the Kelantanese vote. 



In 2004, PAS held onto the state - winning by only a two-seat margin with razor-thin victories in a number of state assembly seats. However in 2008 - PAS strengthened its hold on Kelantan with an almost clean sweep of the state, clinching 38 of the 45 state seats which gives it a two-thirds majority victory. PKR won one state seat and the Barisan Nasional won six. As for parliamentary seats, PAS and PKR have an electoral pact. Together they swept 12 of the 14 seats. 



But some analysts say the latest PAS victory should be credited to its coalition with the DAP and Keadilan parties. 

Professor Shamsul Amri Baharuddin, Director of Institute of Occidental Studies at the Universiti Kabangsaan Malaysia, said: “If we see the history of PAS in Kelantan, after they lost to BN and then BN was ruling for 10-12 years, whatever happened to PAS after that, they did not win on their own. They won with Semangat 46, they have the support of PKR. 

”So it was in the year 2004 for the first time in history, after the BN lost, that they were on their own, one-to-one, so to speak. What happened? They nearly lost … But now they are part of the PKR and DAP. So therefore they managed to translate the little winning that they had into a bigger one because of the support of the other parties, not PAS on it own. 



“I could see that in fact PAS was not organised by PAS. PAS was organised by Anwar Ibrahim and the whole of PKR team like the way the whole opposition coalition has been. So you could see that PAS did not win on their own. For me, PAS won because of its association with PKR and DAP.” 



Whatever the case, the Kelantanese electorate has spoken - giving PAS the mandate to govern for the next five years. 

As often quoted, politics is the art of the possible and the only way for the Barisan Nasional and UMNO in particular to win the state back is to ensure that its re-engineering process will meet with the expectations of the Kelantanese electorate. - CNA/de




Kijang Care Homestay in Pantai Mek Mas

8 05 2008

Kijang Care has taken another huge leap forward by the launched of its three homestay, a project that was initiated about a year ago.

YB Puan Hjh Wan Ubaidah Bt. Omar, the newly elected State Assembly Representatives for DUN Kijang, witnessed the opening of the Kijang Care Homestay. Kak Ubai, as she fondly known is also the first female State Executive Councillor holding the portfolio of Women’s Development, Family and Health Committee.

Dato’ Haji Husam Musa, the Founder of Kijang Care officially launched the Homestay this morning.

Pantai Mek Mas from the satelite

Pantai Mek Mas is less than 20 minutes drive from Kota Bharu. These Homestay situated in the beautiful Fishermen’s Village and suitable for backpackers, budget travellers and researchers to stay. It is also available for a long-stay at special rate. This place is also ideal for small family who wants to taste the peaceful kampong style holiday.

The fee for one night stay is RM70, which 50% of the chargers will go to the villagers who owned the place and the balance will be bank into Kijang Care’s account to finance Kijang Care’s other projects.

Proud Owner, Pak Sin (Above) and Pak Mud (Bottom)

The cost for the development of this project is finance by Kijang Care through donations from various sources and individuals.

During the press conference after the launch, it was also announced that Kijang Care has received RM50,000 for the purpose of building houses for the Indians who are listed under the hardcore poverty category. Currently Kijang Care is identifying the family and suitable location.

At present Kijang Care’s website is under upgrading process by the webmaster, all the information regarding Kijang Care’s activities will be available again on the website soon. For more information on how to book the Homestay, readers can call Mr. Zaidi Hj Abdullah at 019 372 7197 or +609 744 6800.





We Are With You Pete!

6 05 2008

LET’S SEND THE ALTANTUYA MURDERERS TO HELL

Raja Petra Kamarudin 

I had dinner with a few friends last night and on the way to the restaurant another good friend, Din Merican, phoned to fill me in on the details of Dr Setev Shaariibuu’s press conference that was held earlier that day. I listened as Din filled me in on what transpired and could not help but blurt out, “I am a father of two daughters. I can imagine what Shaariibuu must be feeling. Fucking assholes!”

“I have three daughters,” Din responded. “These people are animals, bloody animals. Fuck them! Fuck them!” This is what I would call ‘at a loss for words’ — and when you just have to say something but no words can fully describe how you feel, then ‘fuck’ is the only word you can use which will console you enough and make you feel you have expressed your anger and disgust in a most ‘appropriate’ manner.

“Hey, don’t insult animals,” I replied. “Animals are cute. I love cats, dogs and horses. These people are worse than animals. Even animals will not do something like this.”

“Even pigs can be cute,” my wife who was driving the car butted in and I repeated what she said. “Yes, even pigs are cute. These people are not even the same level as pigs. They are lower than pigs. Melayu babi, the whole lot of them.”

I found it very difficult to hold back my tears as Din continued with his narration of what Dr Shaariibuu said at his press conference. Yes, I am a very emotional person as many may have suspected by now. But I can also be very stubborn and stiff-lipped as well when facing an adversary, as the Special Branch officers from Bukit Aman have discovered. I am what the Malays would call ‘marah nyamuk, bakar kelambu’. And I would not hesitate to deny my body food and water as an act of defiance just to prove to my jailors that they may incarcerate my body but they can never own my mind or break my spirit. But hearing what Dr Shaariibuu had to say ‘broke’ me. Even my degil got tamed.

“Let’s bring these bastards down,” I told Din. “Let’s launch a ‘Justice for Altanatuya: restore Malaysia’s dignity’ campaign’ or something like that. These assholes must be sent to hell.”

Understandably, much of the dinner conversation thereafter was focused on the Altantuya murder. What was most amusing — not that I would classify this tragic murder as ‘amusing’ — is that none at the dinner table are lawyers by profession. But all were able to skilfully ‘argue their case’ as any seasoned lawyer with decades of litigation experience under his or her belt can — or maybe even better than that because not all lawyers are smart (trust me on this one). I always say you need brains to become a lawyer but you do not need to be a lawyer to have brains.

Sure, ‘certified’ lawyers would pooh-pooh such ‘coffee shop’ arguments as just that, coffee shop arguments. And have we not overheard and scoffed at many an ‘expert’ at the next table offering his or her legal prognosis to all and sundry who would care to listen? Yes, opinions are like assholes — everybody has one.

But there are opinions and there are opinions — and, just like assholes, no two are alike. So, while we value the expert opinions of our ‘learned’ legal eagles (yes, that is what they call each other in court even though they may be arguing — how civil), we too have conducted our own trial by court of public opinion and we have already arrived at our verdict even while the Altantuya murder trial is halfway through and long before we can see the end of what many consider a show-trial in a kangaroo court.

Of course, we are not at liberty to say this as this may tantamount to subjudice or contempt of court or something like that (the courts have all sorts of fancy words and phrases to throw at you when they want to send you to jail whenever you differ with their opinion). So I would never dare state that the Altantuya murder trial ‘a show trial in a kangaroo court’ for fear of getting sent to jail. All I am at liberty to say is that many consider the Altantuya murder trial a show-trial in a kangaroo court and leave it at that without declaring whether I too share the opinion of the majority of Malaysians (not sure whether that statement can still get me sent to jail).

Anyway, back to the dinner last night and to what all those ‘self-made lawyers’ who never argued even one case in court their entire life had to say. As I said, neither they nor I am a lawyer but I have attended a decade of trials and hearings since the birth of Reformasi in 1998 and my ‘practical experience’ has exposed me to much of what goes on in court. And all I can say is that, and I repeat, while you need brains to become a lawyer, you really do not need to be a lawyer to have brains, as my dinner friends proved last night.

It was a long dinner and much was discussed and everyone had an opinion plus, as I said, all skilfully ‘argued their case’. However, to avoid this piece turning into a fifty-page thesis, which may see me getting an honorary law degree (or see me getting sent to jail), allow me to summarise how the ‘case’ was argued last night.

First concerns the Affidavit that Razak Baginda submitted to the court during his bail application hearing in the Shah Alam High Court. Justice Segera had initially cautioned Razak’s lawyer that there was no necessity in submitting an Affidavit since it was only a bail application hearing and, anyway, bail is not allowed in murder cases. But the lawyer insisted in pursuing the matter in spite of repeated warnings from the Judge. So the Judge had no choice but to accept the Affidavit as it is the right of the accused to defend himself/herself the way he/she sees fit.

Justice Segera then read the Affidavit and remarked that, after reading it, he is even more convinced that Razak is guilty. How then to grant bail, notwithstanding the fact that bail should automatically be denied anyway in cases of murder? Justice Segera was then immediately removed from hearing the case and was replaced by a junior judicial commissioner.

Note that Justice Segera is a senior Judge and the most suited to hear this very controversial and high-profile case. Was he removed because he had prejudged the case or because he was now privy to certain information that may influence his decision or because they want to ‘kill’ the Affidavit?

This was the first bone of contention. Karpal Singh, who is holding a watching brief on behalf of Altantuya’s family, then raised this matter during the trial and he asked the police officer on the stand as to why they did not investigate the Affidavit since much has been revealed in that document. The police officer replied that they did not investigate the Affidavit because ‘tidak ada arahan dari atas’ (so instructions from the top).

This further enhances the belief that there is some very damaging evidence in that Affidavit and which the government is trying to hide. The fact that the Affidavit exists and Karpal raised the matter in court and the police did not deny it — other than explain they did not investigate it because of no instructions from the top — convinces most that something is amiss here.

It seems the Affidavit also reveals that Altantuya was camped outside Razak’s house and this caused him to panic. He then went running to Najib, and Rosmah summoned Najib’s ADC, Musa Safri, and instructed him to solve Razak’s problem. Musa then summoned the two police officers currently on trial. So, it appears like Razak and the two police officers are not the only ones involved. Najib, Rosmah and Musa have also been implicated in this entire thing. And why the need for the police officer to declare that he had already killed six people before this if murder was not what was on everyone’s mind?

Then the Attorney-General did a very strange thing. Just before the trial started, he made a public announcement that only three people and no others are involved in the murder. This is not only strange but highly irregular as well. It is not the Attorney-General’s job to determine this. This is for the court to decide. Furthermore, the trial had not even started yet so how does the Attorney-General know what is going to surface in the trial? No one has testified yet and until all the testimonies are heard who knows who else is involved and whether the three accused who on trial are even guilty or not? The Attorney-General made it appear like he knows the outcome of the trial even before the trail commenced? How not to feel that the trial is a show-trial?

The Sunday morning before the trial was supposed to start, I received a SMS that said the charges against Razak would be withdrawn. At 4.00pm, I received another SMS saying that the entire team of prosecutors will be replaced because they did not agree to drop the charges against Razak. The following morning, the new prosecutor requested a one-month postponement on the excuse that he had just that very morning been told he is taking over the case so he needs time to study the files. The judge gave them a two-week postponement. The SMS may have been inaccurate but the actions thereafter lent credence to the SMS. And this SMS was from a Deep Throat in the Attorney-General’s Chambers so I am not about to just dismiss it as lies and slander.

The next point is about where Altantuya’s remains were found, which was deep in the jungles. The three accused deny killing Altantuya yet the police knew exactly where to go to look for the remains. How did the police know where to go when the three denied killing her? Did they use a bomoh? Was there an informer? No, the police just happen to know that deep in the jungles they would find Altantuya’s remains without anyone having to tell them.

It makes one wonder whether the police knew where to go because it is a ‘gazetted dumpsite’ where all ‘bumped off’ people are disposed. Does this then mean that the two police officers on trial alongside Razak are police hit men whose job it is to bump people off and then get rid of their bodies at that site where they retrieved Altantuya’s remains? This, of course, remains mere speculation but there is certainly cause for speculation and the evidence all seem to point to this assumption.

The whispering amongst those who walk in the corridors of power is that when they went to the ‘dump site’ they retrieved the remains of many others as well. Some say it was the remains of seven people and others say nine. So Altantuya was not the first. There were many others before this, almost ten judging by the remains.

This, of course, has never been made public and probably never will. So, until it is, we must assume that the ‘whispering’ is unfounded. But then, what about Razak’s Affidavit we talked about earlier, which stated that the police officer had admitted to killing six people before this. This would then make Altantuya the seventh victim. Against this backdrop, the ‘whispering’ about the police retrieving the remains of seven or nine people begins to sound like very loud whispers.

Many other ‘key issues’ raised by my non-lawyer friends, who all argued as if they were conducting the Altantuya murder trial, were matters such as how Altantuya’s immigration records could be erased from the Immigration computers, the letters Najib wrote to the Malaysian embassy supporting Altantuya’s visa application, the photograph of Altantuya, Najib, Razak and Kalimullah taken during Altantuya’s birthday party in the Mandarin Hotel in Singapore, and much more.

Rumour has it, and it remains just that, a rumour, is that all this ‘evidence’ has been given to Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. Okay, maybe Abdullah is using this information to keep Najib in line — which appears to be working seeing that he is constantly licking Abdullah’s hand. But this is not about politics and should not be dealt as such. This is about the Prime Minister of Malaysia withholding crucial evidence in a murder trial. Abdullah is an accessory to murder and burying evidence that will affect the outcome of the trial and interfere in seeing justice done renders Abdullah as guilty as those currently on trial and those who also should be on trial but are not.

I really wish I could write about all the above which was discussed by those at the dinner table last night. Unfortunately, since the trial is still ongoing, I will not be able to talk about any of these matters. The best I can do is relate what those at the dinner table discussed last night and leave it at that without giving my opinion. And the above is what was discussed by those who are not lawyers and never once in their lives argued any case in court.

Of course, since all these people are not lawyers, most of what they said is based purely on logic and not on points of law. It is actually quite ridiculous that people not tutored in matters of law would attempt to dissect and analyse the Altantuya murder trial and pass judgement as if they are trained and certified lawyers. Anyway, as I said, opinions are like assholes and every one has one so we should not take too much notice of what my dinner friends said last night. Meanwhile, read what my friend, Din Merican, e-mailed to me this morning: (read here)




Sheih on Sheih: Persona Non Grata years, The Beginning of The End

28 04 2008

I have heard somewhere, someone said; partnership is a ship you might not want to jump into. I have jumped onto that ship after my Robin Hood days in Ten On Ten. Those we the most wonderful period of my life as a scriptwriter, director and producer. It was so wonderful that I am willing to forget how traumatic it is when the ship sunk.

During on board of that ship, I was given the opportunity to meet and work with my best buddies in the industry. With Eman Manan, Idris Diah, Zaidi Omar, Radhi Khalid, Arwah Loloq, Mustapha Mahidin, Dr. Samat Salleh, Deanna Yusuf and Kaza and with Eddy, the captain of the ship, we sailed through some of the pinnacle of our creative escapism. We did Nick Hardware dan Muthu Schumacher, Earl Grey dan Kopi Kampung, Kelab Kopi Kampung, Diari, Kuartet Merdeka and few seasons of Sensasi Auto.

It was almost paradise. Yes almost, if not because of those typical mistakes that we human were born with.

The praised and the attention given to us were actually the beginning of the end. We saw the tip of the iceberg and we taught we could safely sailed there to stick our flag and not remembering deep below, disaster is waiting.

I fumbled in my marriage. But obviously not because of other woman. We both were climbing our own stairs. We both were drowning with attention to a point we hardly have time to enjoy private moments. In fact, quality time with family will be the kids with me or the kids with her.

When she took her break, I shall be shooting somewhere. When my turn to take a break, I will always accidentally took it during the time when she is shooting elsewhere. When she was hospitalised, I would rushed the doctor to discharge her so I can go away for my filming. When I was wheeled to the operation theatre, she was busy driving through the traffic to meet her assignment.

And, when we actually have time together, it shall be me or her rushing out to avoid further argument. We hurt each other so much that we hardly recognise the marriage due to the broad spectrum of bruises.

At the end, in favour of keeping things intact, we made a gigantic mistake when we decided for her to leave her job and as though it was written in fate, almost at the same time, the ship I’m on; hit the bottom of the iceberg.

Next we know, we found ourselves selling kerabu mangga and jelly at Pasar Ramadhan, while I am trying to salvage whatever I can from the sinking ship. Strained building up in my relationship with Eddy, my business partner and soon, we had to the abandon the ship.
I ended meeting more familiar faces in Pasar Borong Selayang than those in the industry.

Soon, Ramadhan left us and we are back living on our saving. Luckily my other half was called back to join TV3, while I did my soul-searching in Masjid Wilayah from Zhohor to Isyak. It was during those period that I beginning to lose faith in myself being in the industry. I look back at those who survived the industry and asked myself, why do many of them are reduced to begging for a lifeline at the end of their life? Where did it gone wrong? Is there a written agreement somewhere between those lines of those hundreds of contract that we signed which said, live rich die poor? Or, is this what God has for us?

During those soul-searching periods, I browse through archives list of those who had made it big during their years under the limelight but reduced to becoming nothing but beggars in the newspaper at the end of their lives. Without wanting to mention their names, I can just say, I can easily throw 100 names and halves of it was during my years in the industry. Do I want my grandchildren to cry for me in the newspaper thirty years from now? If I were still having the chance to make a different, I would rather try.

Nevertheless, life is like living in the absurdum of Waiting For Godot. I keep telling myself, it is time to go, but I am still here.

On the 2nd of February 2005, my former producer whom I held such a high regards and considered her always as my godmother, called me, “Zidi, Kak Ani nak Zidi buat feature film untuk Nizarman”. I have been waiting for that sentence to come from her since 1994, and suddenly she actually utter it to me. How would I say no?

I am not going to say no. Am I waiting for Godot? I did not say no. I accepted the offer and continued to live as one of those tramps in Waiting For Godot! But Godot never came till the end. Who to blame?




Sheih on Sheih: Persona Non Grata years

27 04 2008

BEN
I going back after I make big money.
SIRI
Why Money? Wanna Bribe you way to freedom.
BEN
No. I’m going to fight for justice.
SIRI
Man… You still believe in justice? Am I drunk already?
BEN
You can do the same. We make big buck. You go back to Singapore, get a lawyer to fight your case. You said you are innocent… Justice is yours.
SIRI
No… Justice only for those who have plenty…

(Excerpt from Persona Non Grata)

Person not wanted? Yes. That is how I always consider my accidental venture into the film industry.

When I join Universiti Sains Malaysia in 1990, my aim was to major in Journalism and to minor in Political Science. Those days, I used to have lots of hair on my head and I only cut it once a year when I have to meet my father. Eventually those hairs, which I foolishly thought would last forever, took the better of me.

USM those days used to have a very strict regulations and one of it was in regards of the hair. You will not able to enter the library without passing the security personnel who will make sure you obey all the rules and regulations. As the director of Security is my good buddy whom I held so much respect, I choose not to be sent to him again and again for advice. Due to the nature of the discipline in Journalism and Political Science, which requires me to spend much time in the library, I decided to look elsewhere which brought me to a person that until today is so special to me.

His name is Muhammad Hatta, thirty-something and just arrived back from Chicago with Master of Fine Arts. This former producer from National Film Board and began his academic career in USM in 1990 attracted me to the film world. He is a hell of an experimental persona whom until today I considered as my blood brother. His laid-back attitude and the time we spent talking about all sort of things under the cherry tree in front of the Communication’s school convinced me that I want to be just like him.

Since than, I took filmmaking religiously. I scored straight A for all my film subjects. I spent more times sleeping in the film studio compared to my dorm. Film have given me everything even a wife.

In 1993, film brought me out of the country to Tokyo when my student work was selected as the best 20 pieces out of 169 participations from all over the world. For a kampong boy from Pondok Panchor and a former driver for ‘Gemullah Tok Wakil Pengkalan Chepa’, this was a monumental personal success.

I remembered when Hatta came to my tutorial class and told me that “Karamnya Bahtera Merdeka a.k.a The Cries of an Independent Child” has achieved what deem impossible amongst the local varsity those days, we hugged each other and I screamed in front of my hostel, Desa Fajar; “Tokyo Here I come!!!”

When I finished my movie Persona Non Grata in 2006, I choose to have it premiered in USM. Persona Non Grata was first screened to public in the same hall that I shot “Karamnya Bahtera Merdeka” and among the hundreds who were there were Associate Professor Muhammad Hatta, Tuan Nor Rizan Khalid the still Director of Security and my mentor retired Professor R. Karthigesu. Those were the three persons most responsible in guided my way into the real world. Unfortunately, these three are the best of persons and they taught me all the best and lovely things in life. But the real life outside the gate of Minden, is not that lovely.

Deep inside me, I kept it to myself that by having screened Persona Non Grata and viewed by them during the same lifetime, mean that I have completed my cycle of my own world of film venture. I can now leave the industry without any regret. I may now venture into searching the Utopia.

Utopia, where I can clean myself and wash all my sins away. I never shared this ever with anyone not even my wife, because that night, after the premier, she whispered to me, “I’m proud of you”. She may want me to carry on with it. But my heart is no more there. It is just happened like that, however I just cannot find a reason to justify it. Though I knew, when I was hit by the economic misfortune in 1998, I have missed the train.

Nevertheless, I cannot hide it from God. Immediately my life was thrown into such an agony, mentally and financially. Everything that I venture into within the industry and the entire offer that I received never materialise. For once, I actually lost everything I had owned during those 14 years in the industry.

As I always said before, God works in such a mysterious way and He did it once more. If 1998 was the lowest point in my life, this time around, it is much deeper than it. Basically, I was physically grounded for an entire 8 months. It was so surreal that you just wake up one morning and realised that you have lost those passions that keeps on burning all those years.

Someone, many years before once hold my palm and said, one day you will go away, far away to work, you will meet a Minister and your life will climb to its peak never to fall down again. The Almighty is Great! Yes, I never doubted it.

I thought when I shot my movie in Bangkok that is the faraway land. However, here I am, deeper than the shit-hole. I am totally confused. Out of the confusion, I took up blogging. I knew that I do not have the strength any more. I knew that this time around even my marriage might crumble for it has been surviving on borrowed time. What had hit me had made it difficult for all and it seems to hurt them the most. I have betrayed the trust of everybody who had kept such a high hope on me. Now, I have left with nothing to offer to them anymore accept for the much abused, thank you and I am sorry.

I started Kickdefella somewhere in July 2006 to kick myself. I alienated myself and live in my own cyber world. Then suddenly, someone posted a comment and with that comment, he brought me out of my alienation. He gave me hope and made me felt wanted. That made me realised that I can still make a different in this world and I still have in me something to offer. I might have missed the train to fame but I still had with me a valid ticket to board another train to Utopia.

With that, I strived to keep my end of the bargain. I apply for all sorts of jobs that available online as long as it had nothing to do with directing or writing script and one day, I got the offer not to direct or to write but to teach film.

I joined UTAR in October 2006 and live a double personality. I again took my new career religiously, as I believed that I have found my Utopia, only to be disturbed when Bro Bakaq of Penarik Beca cycled into my life slowly but surely.

One night, over telephone conversation with the famed Penarik Beca, he shoot me a jackpot question, “Awat hang tak join PAS?”

I never answered that question until today, but that particular night, over Marlboro on my end and Gudang Garam on Bakaq’s end, I did say this, “Orang PAS cuma sorang aje yang aku teringin nak jumpa, Husam. Teringin benar aku nak jumpa dia”.

“Hang nak nomboq dia aku bagi”, “Isss, hang ni, takkan aku nak call dia, dia sapa, aku sapa…”, “Takpa, aku bagi nomboq hang kat dia, boleh?”. Bakaq suddenly eagerly ends our telephone conversation immediately.

The next day, while I am about to leave the staff room for my Friday afternoon break, my mobile rang. It was an unfamiliar number. As I was still in a lot of debts, it worried me to answer all those unfamiliar numbers. Nevertheless, I did answer that call.

“Husam sini!” That was his word. Yes, I was bloody damn shocked. It was YB. Dato’ Paduka Haji Husam Musa at the other end of the line. Surreal but real!




Ku Li First Blood

26 04 2008

Catch Ku Li’s in action in front of 3,000 supporters in Balai Islam, Lundang, Kota Bharu Kelantan here.




Sheih on Sheih: Tales of a Househusband pt3

25 04 2008

“Life in show business is like falling in love, it is full of surprises and you constantly get fucked!”

The lady Executive Producer from India seated in front of me. She was holding two videotapes of my previous work, which a buddy of mine, a very talented composer, Airil sent to them 8 months ago.

After exchanging few greetings, we engaged into more serious conversation,

“Azidi, I like your work very much, but I have to be frank with you, what we are doing here is not your cup of tea”. I just smile, I am so used to this line lately.

“You are recommended by everyone I have known here. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to produce your kind of work, but under the current situation, we have to produce what we can sell….”

When she kept on rephrasing herself, I knew it is time for me to say something.

“Fadzilla, I haven’t been doing anything for a year now. It is very important for me to do whatever there is, beggar cannot be chooser”. I just gave her my best bargaining line. No pride no ego. I want to work and I wanted her to know about it.

“We have 156 episodes of Soap Opera, would you be interested to do it?”. Then she started to open up.

Soap Opera? Nobody would dare to offer that kind of shit to me before. They know I would felt insulted.

“Yes, No problem, would love to”, I said much to her surprise. 

“But it is a combination of outdoor and studio shoot, the studio shoot will be multi camera”, she must had her own doubt about me.

“I am a fast learner”, I have never doubt my ability although for a recognise director, multi camera works might sound as an insult.

“Okay than, how much would you ask?”, by then I know this sort of opportunity will never come in the next one year.

“What’s your budget?” I asked.

“321 ringgit per episode”. I stood up, shook her hand and accept the deal right then without a single complaint. It came to my knowledge later that the two other co-directors had rejected the fee and request for a much higher fee according to the market price. Nevertheless, when I have accepted it, they were left with no other choice but either to accept it or to let it go.

For the next one year, I have made my living surrounded by people that prior to this point of my life, I would consider as bimbos, ‘muka papan’, ‘batang pisang’ etc. I swallowed my pride but honestly, it is an easy task because there is not much pride left in me.

Working in a soap production is a turning point in my career. It prove to be important in years to come as it is a huge production with the involvement of more that 100 creative peoples.

The first thing I did when I cut the deal was to call the finance company and told them that I am surrendering the car immediately. I told my wife that we would not able to continue from where it stops before. We have to start all over again. We remain at my in law’s place while trying to share the household expenses.

When I took the job, my wife was two months into her pregnancy of our second child. We made a promise, which we gladly kept until today that the children will always be, our priority especially in financial matters. During my year long in the soap opera business, I utilised only a third of my remuneration while the rest goes into our saving. We do not have car, we do not have debt, we do not own anything accept for the family that god bless us with.

Once the contract over, we are back to living on our saving, but was fortunate that due to my contacts with those who involved in the soap production, every time our saving was about to run dry, someone would call me and gave me a good project that keep us alive for the next few months until I was offered a lucrative deal as the Head of Creative Department in Ten on Ten Pictures, thanks to my wife’s good friend whom today is a well known senior person in Astro.

During the time at Ten On Ten, we managed to rebuild our live and move forward with it. We rent a place in Menara Duta, a lavish duplex unit in one hell of a good deal. A place which we stayed until I made my move to Kelantan, last year.

The one-year I spent at Ten On Ten was considered by me a payback time. I contacted back those lost friends and try to fix something for them. It was during that period I team up again with Eman Manan, Zaidi Omar, Eddy and those who once played an important role in my career. I used my position to open the door to lots of directors and scriptwriters and bring them back to the industry. A controversial moves which at the end of the day cost me my job.

It is always sad to lose such a lucrative pay but I always consoled myself by saying the pay is not worth the ‘kipas bontot’ attitude which the former CEO of NTV7 and the owner of the station expected from me. Although until today, I would say that I still missed the salary, one thing for sure I wouldn’t miss are the politicking and those entire ass kissers in Encorp, Ten On Ten and NTV7.

When Ten On Ten choose not to renew my contract at the eleventh hour, it actually open the door for me to spent the most happening 3 years of my life in the business and also what I shall describe as the most creative moment for me.

But just as before, all the good things will meet it ends and I never thought when Mahathir step down in 2004, it also marked the darkest period of my life which is worst than anything I have face before that prompted me to leave the film industry once and for all.

(Next, living a Persona-Non-Grata life)




Sheih on Sheih: Tales of a Househusband pt2

24 04 2008

My Camelot has crumbled. 1998 was the year that almost inexistent in my life and it has affected almost everybody I knew in the industry. It is almost absurd to focus myself into writing anything at all. However, I still remember my brother Eman Manan’s wishful words one night somewhere in December 1997.

“Di dalam zaman kesusahan, akan lahir karya dan karyawan besar”. Yes, based on history, it is true what he said. Promoedya Anantatoer written his Keluarga Gerilya during his worst moments in life and so did all the local National Laureate. Even today, we still read about it, about how J.K. Rowling wrote her first of the Harry Porter success during the worst moment of her life. But there I am, trying to consult myself and appealed to my mind to come with some sort of idea to kick-start my life again. But the message I got was, due to the current economic situation, the light at the end of the tunnel is shut down until further notice. So, I was left hanging there, staring at the pitch black tomorrow.

As my saving already dried out, I was left appreciating the welfare services provided by my in-laws. My father-in-law would slip twenty ringgit somewhere and once he reaches the office, he would call my wife and told her to ask me to use the money for my lunch and my cigarette. He would drive back to Johore every Friday, so we have the place and the privacy to ourselves.

As everyday pass by, I started to becoming more and more sensitive. The feeling of insecurity demoralised you to a level of not even leaving you with any guts to look at people in the eyes anymore.

I tried my best to keep the housework to myself. At least that is what is left for me to do. Laundry, cooking, gardening, sweeping and mopping the house are those things that kept me going.

One evening, a simple sarcasm from my wife cause so much damage to my already bruised pride that I left the house. After five hours of non-stop walking around Petaling Jaya, I came to realise that I actually have nowhere to go. I tried to run away but where? I have no friends left in town. I have no money to even buy a bus ticket to go to my sister’s place. Even if I have the money, I wouldn’t do that. I would not leave my son. I did promise myself long time ago that I will always be there for my kids. I will not abandon them and let them grow up not knowing how to love me.

It is so difficult to learn that you only have yourself to blame. As reality strike my consciousness. I pace my way home while confronting myself, I told myself, “You have no pride. You are an idiot. You are nothing but a useless bugger. You cannot even pay for you child’s milk and you cannot even provide a shelter for your family. You live on the mercy of your wife and her family. Go back home and be what you are, an idiot”.
The next day, I tried to hide my tears from my two years old kid. I covered my face with my hand. He thought I am playing peek-a-boo with him and removed my hand from my face, “Cak Aaa”, he said. I grabbed him and hugged him tightly. I made my promise to him. “One day, Abah shall come out of this and Abah hopes it will be soon so you will not have the luxury of remembering it”.

I draft a plan of my own, I planned to do some odd jobs but again, I realised that under that circumstances, staying at home and be a full-time househusband was the most economically correct for me to do at that time. Whatever job I take, will mean I have to send my son to childcare centre which was much costly and will not be worth the payment I might get from the job.

It was exactly a year before I finally received the call I have been waiting all the while. I grabbed the job without even asked for a single cent more than what being offered to me. A job that I will surely turn down prior to this period in my life.




Sheih on Sheih: Tales of A Househusband

23 04 2008

“Life is like the flag of India”. A friend pronounced to me in early 2000 when I get him a job at a television station. Many years prior to that moment, he was the one who committed himself in promoting my artistic talent so I can cater to my family needs. 

Indeed, life replicates those wheels and it keep on rotating. Sometimes we were up and the next second, down we go. I started to believe that everymen would have to face this at least once in their lifetime. Some men will be fortunate or unfortunate to have their wheels revolving faster than any other men. So they will face more ups and downs. 

When you are up, you convince yourself to do lots of stupid things on the premise that you deserve it, and when you are down, life force you to be stupid in order to justify the hardship you are facing. 

Every dog has his day. I began mine in 1997. I left my permanent position in an established production house as Senior Director and Chief Script Editor at the age of 27 to dive into the life as a freelancer. Leaving behind a good salary, a beautiful apartment and whole lots of other perks because I wanted to be free. The decision was made a month into my marriage. 

I justified my move as passion. I want to do what I want to do and nobody, not even the TV station can dictate terms on me. I earn the respect from peers and producers look up at me as the raw species that are not into money. 

But it is all lies. I earned three times more as a freelancer and I can afford to reject 5 to 10 offers a week just to focus on 1 or 2 works a month. In August 1997, my bank statement showed that for the month alone, I have collected RM50k. It was the time of year that I wrote “Perempuan Melayu Terakhir”. 

It was also the day when my wife came back and told me that the TV3’s Director of Operation has called her and asked about me. Yunus Said, whom until today I earned my utmost respect, asked my wife to persuade me to pay him a visit and I did. 

I can still remember the moment well. It was at the Penthouse floor of Sri Pentas. The security officer escorted me into his huge office where he was seated watching the 8pm news. 

As he turned down the volume of the TV set, Yunus break the ice by asking about the tie that I wore. We have few good jabs at each other before he asked me what would it take to bring me to join TV3 and to be specified, to be part of Grand Brilliance. I am not shock but reluctant. 

Yunus dug deeper into me and asked me about all the books that I read when I wrote the screenplay. Asking about the car that I drove, about the loans that I have committed myself into and what I wanted to do in future. 

I told him, I wanted to further my study and he immediately agreed to finance my study once I earn my confirmation if I join them. He gave me three days to think about the offer. 

Two days later, I received a call for another appointment with him. 

We met again and the first thing he told me was this, “I have the HR people waiting to prepare your appointment letter, so how much do you want?”. I looked at my wristwatch and it is 6.30pm. I knew I couldn’t keep the people waiting any longer. We went straight to business. An hour later, it was decided that they couldn’t afford my asking price, as I walked towards the exit, he stopped me and said this, “RM5k, that’s the highest we could offer you”. “I am sorry sir”. 

I left the room not knowing that that will be the best deal I can get in years to come. 

Few days later, the stock market tumbles, the devaluation of ringgit started. Producers stopped returning my call and all agreed future projects gone down the drain. The Malaysian film and video industry collapsed. 

Panic stricken, I called Yunus only to get the chance of leaving the message with his assistant. My message was, “Please let Mr. Yunus know that I agreed with his last offer”. They never call me back. 

Few days later, my wife told me that there are huge turmoil and power struggle in TV3. The PM has asked Yunus to leave. The purging of all Anwar’s men was in process. 

We ended living on our saving which last us almost six months. No more offers and no more friends. Every one I knew has either lost their jobs or deep in debt and facing marital problems. Some has return to their kampongs. 

Coming April 1998, it was decided that we could no more afford to pay for our house rental. I tried to persuade my wife to let me surrender our car because we already began to default our loan. She disagreed and it cost a lot of strain. I knew that only pride is what we have left. We sent our maid back to Indonesia on a one-way trip holiday but I guess she knew the problem we are facing. Who wouldn’t? I have been staying at home for almost 6 months now. 

Came May Day 1998, we packed our things and moved into my father-in-law’s place. As I stood in the empty hall, I told myself, my Camelot has crumbled and I am left with nothing but tears. While the nation put the blame on Georger Soros’s shoulders, I have only mine to weigh the burden.

I tried to take pride in my new position as househusband, but it is not easy at all. Everyday, having to watch your wife and your father-in-law went to work while you were there, holding the hand of your child while the kid waved goodbye to them diminished me to the lowest point in my life. I am at the most bottom of the revolving wheel and all the sudden, it seems like the wheel has now stop spinning. I’m doomed.




Hey Biggum

22 04 2008

Just go and read what Biggum has to say. I had nothing to add.